Chinese Astrology

Chinese New Year is today! This year is "The Year of the Ox".

We have posted some information on the different signs in Chinese astrology above - for the many people who are intrigued by this part of our culture.

Like western astrology, one part of Chinese astrology also deals with predictions about compatibility between people on the basis of their astrological signs. For example, some astrologers may consider that it alright for women born under the sign of the Rabbit to marry a man born under the sign of the Tiger, but a terrible idea if the man is a Rabbit and the woman is a Tiger (to heck with women's lib), and people born under Ox, Horse and Sheep make great friends, etc. etc.

The following list of random Chinese sayings and quotations will give you a good sense of traditional conventional chinese wisdom about relationships between astrological signs (one caveat: not meant to be at all a guide for choosing dance partners in a milonga!)

Riding the cow/Ox to look for the Horse (When a person settles for a less than ideal partner/job etc. in the meantime and continues to keep an eye out for something better. Kind of like that boyfriend whom you suspected never really loved you and broke up with you once he got his claws on the Miss Canada candidate with the IQ of 180, six-figure income and parents who were loaded)

A tureen of Snake and Rat soup (Unsavoury persons have a way of finding other unsavoury persons to hang out with. Sometimes they even form criminal (or tango) associations!)

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (Some people have awesome hidden talents. Just like in the Ang Lee movie. However, I'm not talking about those leaders who are flinging their partners right and left regardless of others on the dance floor because they think they deserve to perform in their own tango show right in the middle of the milonga)

Dragon conflict, Tiger battle (A huge fight. Kindly of like what would happen if the said above "hidden talent" leaders manage, in the midst of their milonga antics, to fling their partner into Man Yung and his partner on the dance floor)

Tiger head, Snake Tail ("All talk and no walk". "Looks good but not real good". "Hey, great resume - too bad about the sucky dancing")

Chicken fly, Dog run (Happens when everyone is running for the exits in a state of confusion. Can potentially happen at an opening of a Durian)

When one person gets a promotion, the Chicken and Dog rise to the heavens (When one person rises up in life, he or she will naturally help his or her friends and associates to ascend the ladder of success with them - regardless of actual merit or talent.)

Dog and Chicken work (A hard and difficult task. As in "trying to write down this list in a coherent and cohesive manner while Man Yung is brainstorming away at breakneak speed is Dog and Chicken work")

Ox head Horse face (These traditional Chinese guardians of hell may suddenly materialize to "escort" stubborn souls into Tango Hell)

The Tiger in the flock of Sheep (Mutton tartare, anyone?)

Hungry Tiger catch the Sheep (How about rack of Mutton?)

Sending the Sheep into the Tiger's mouth (I think you have already got the general idea behind this)

Die Rabbit stew Dog (The massacre of devoted but foolish followers. Once the ambitious attain their lofty goals of power, they often turn around to slaughter their loyal followers who enabled and assisted them. Happened famously in the "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". Happened with the followers of Chairman Mao. I dare say, it is even happening with Fabio - he leaves a trail of broken hearts, mangled self-esteems and emptied wallets wherever he goes)

Pig comrade Dog friend (The kind of "chums" you can't depend on - isn't it funny that deep down, you suspect that all your friends are kind of like that?)

Dragon and Snake mixed together (Another delicious traditional chinese delicacy - see "Rat and Snake soup" above)

Good vitality like Dragon and Horse ("Wow, he has been galloping around the milonga non-stop for four hours!" "Well, he must have good vitality like Dragon and Horse!")

Better to be a Chicken's mouth than an Ox's ass (A word of conventional Toronto wisdom: Isn't it much better be a reknowned and celebrated "Toronto Tango Instructor" than a no-body in Buenos Aires?)

Marry Chicken, follow Chicken; Marry Dog, follow Dog (Unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky as to end up with a gem like Man Yung.)

Snake head Rat face (Describes someone with inauspicious appearance and shady character. But if that person is a Fabio, women will still line up around the block for a chance to dance with him!)

Monkey riding the Horse (Describes someone getting a promotion and raise. But the real question is, what does it mean when the Monkey is riding the Ox to look for the Horse while the Chicken and Dog rise to the heavens? I leave you to ponder that question)

Work like Ox, work like Horse (Hey, do you realize that writing this list is no walk in the park?)

Agitation like Dog and Chicken (Restlessness, nervousness and anxiety. Happens when people are not dancing for themselves but always thinking what people will think of their dancing. Loosen up! You shouldn't dance Tango to prove anything to anybody. If you are, there's obviously something deficient in your self-esteem)

Monkey head Pig brain (Looks smart but not really smart. Just shows that you've got to beware of advice from any so-called "Tango Expert")

BONUS ROUND: Special Ox sayings for the Ox New Year:

Ox eating the peony (Obviously, to him it's just another piece of grass)

Playing piano for the Ox (What exquisite Mozart! But to no avail - the Ox is busy chewing his cud)

Ox's neck temperament (Stubborn old Ox, all those lessons in the Julliard were all in vain)

Like a mud Ox submerged in the sea (The sensation that a Follower gets when a Leader's leading dissolves into blurry nothingness)

And finally....

Happy New Year, Kung Hei Fat Choy (Welcome Good Fortune!) - May your luck reach from the earth to the Ox constellation!