Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A tale of two commercials

Man Yung and I had an intense "Tango" conversation yesterday about two commercials we stumbled upon on Youtube.

The first was the recent Chanel No. 5 commercial directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, director of "Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain" and "Un long dimanche de fiançailles" - starring, coincidentally, his star in both these movies, Audrey Tautou:

Chanel No. 5 commercial directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet starring Audrey Tautou

"I absolutely LOVE this commercial," remarked Man Yung. "There's a great romantic storyline, exotic locations, and wonderful cinematography. And even though there's not a single line of dialogue between the two leads, this short film says so much. It's about love and longing in the place where East meets West, the symbolic space where we can intersect. It's about the opportunities we miss, and the opportunities we need to cherish. It's about about journeys we make - in love, in life and in spirit. It's about the thrill of the gaze, and the mysterious and ecstatic connection we can have with people we meet. The soundtrack may be the old, tattered, wistful voice of Billie Holiday singing some jazz - but this film conveys to me all the sentiment and feeling of Tango. What's more, it makes me want to buy Chanel No. 5!!"

"I beg to differ," I said. "If you want to make a commercial about Tango, you've got to go ALL OUT. People don't get artsy-fartsy subtlety. You've also got to KEEP IT REAL. Man Yung, what you need is a commercial that shrieks, snorts and BELLOWS the reality of contemporary "TANGO". I present to you the following:"

Intimissimi Lingerie "Heart Tango" commercial starring Monica Bellucci

Sexy throbbing pulsating vibrating nuevo Tango electronica soundtrack? Check.
Sexy Tango makeup and fashion in the Sexy Tango colours of (what else?) Black and Red? Check.
Flailing stiletto heels and daring aerial Sexy Tango gyrations that would definitely wow the judges of Dancing with the Stars (but would unfortunately get you booted out of Cachirulo)? Check.
Sexy heavy breathing and Sexy compromising horizontal positions with a good dose of Sexy Tango Bodice Ripping? Check.
Sexy sweaty dissheveled Tango Fabio who could be bought with either Money or Sex (or any combination of the two - come on, do you really think we are talking "True Love" here?)? Check.
Why be yourself when you can pick and choose your favourite Tango persona? How about the Sexy Sultry Tango Chick, the Sexy Ingenue Tango Chick, the Sexy Hot Mama Tango Chick, the Sexy Biker Tango Chick, the Sexy Taxi Driver/Secret Service Tango Chick, or hey, even the Sexy French Maid Tango Chick? Check.
Sexy sex goddess Monica Bellucci in Sexy Tango Lingerie in a potentially explosive Sexy Tango catfight with the other Sexy Monica Bellucci(s)? Check.

"Man Yung, this is what you can call a real Tango commercial! Droves of excited Tangueras are no doubt flocking to the lingerie stores right now. There's nothing like popping out in 3D like Monica Bellucci to get the Tangueras a chance to cavort with their own personal Fabio. THAT'S what Tango is really all about!"

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