"But Irene and Man Yung, it is hot! Shorts and jerseys keep me cool as a cucumber. And when I'm trying to navigate in a crowded milonga, it kind of feels like I'm trying to dribble past the opposing players in a Raptors Game."
We've also seem some guys dig deep into their closets so they can go Tango in their scouts uniforms. And just because it was hot, and not because it was Halloween!
"I swear....this kind of get-up at the milonga is just goddamn inappropriate."
We can assure you that a real milonguero won't be caught dead wearing shorts to a milonga. From the anecdotes we have heard from our milonguero friends in Buenos Aires, little boys in Argentina wear "short pants" and aren't allowed to wear "long pants" until they are old enough and man enough.
Kids in shorts are only allowed to dance with their MAMA.
So you have all these milongueros who have spent all their early years trying to get themselves a pair of long pants just so they can go tango with the big boys and girls. The right to wear long pants is an important manly accomplishment. No way are they going to ever wear shorts to dance tango, not in 45 degree heat, not when the air conditioning is broken and the fan is not working, not when the humidity is so bad it is like moving through soup, no way in hellfire and flames with the devil waving a pitchfork.
"Oh Man Yung, stop complaining!" I said. "I know your pet peeve (apart from reckless bumper car dancers) is seeing guys in shorts in milongas. I know it is not the best look, but they don't CARE about being milongueros. Anyone wearing shorts couldn't give a damn about tango tradition or dancing with the best tangueras/milongueras. Tango to these guys... is just salsa. Or like going to the gym! Give them half a year and they will be merrily on their way to bachata or merengue or afro-fusion or whatever it is that next catches their fancy."
Irene is only so tolerant....because like many other tangueras, she is secretly looking forward to the day when all the good looking buff tangueros will show up in the milonga wearing SPEEDOS. Ah. David Duchovny. Shhhhhh!
*** Dear Tango Organizer: Please tell guys wearing shorts to milonga to STOP wearing shorts to milonga. It is yucky. However, if David Duchovny shows up wearing red speedos, he is more than welcome. Thanks.