Saturday, May 26, 2018

Tango Staycation

I would have written this post over the Victoria Day long weekend here in Canada, but I was too busy on a glamourous Tango "Staycation".

Now, of course we would rather be on a glamourous Tango "Vacation" and we miss visiting our wonderful friends in Buenos Aires, but we have to be home every four to six hours to feed and massage an ancient constipated pet cat.  This one (on the left - I don't know who the guy in the chicken hat is HA!):

And when we told Manolo the reason behind us not flying to Buenos Aires to visit him, he said "Does he taste good with a side of rice?"

HE WAS JOKING!  About getting rid of the cat and about what Chinese people eat!  Cat Lovers and Chinese people, it's JUST A JOKE, OK?

Well, in any event, Vacation/Staycation is just a state a mind and we will use all our powers of Imagination/Zen/Self-Delusion to bring you the following:


1.  Wear same set of wrinkle free "travel clothes" for days on end.  Wash them in the sink and hang them all over the place to drip dry OR screw that, wear them for days on end and do not wash them. Did you know merino wool clothing supposedly never smells bad and self-cleans? 

Irene demonstrating how to look conspicuously like a tourist.  You don't even need to be in Buenos Aires - we guarantee that this outfit will make anyone stick out like a sore thumb anywhere in the world!

2.  Eat pasta and pizza and red meat with abandon and wash it down with gallons of beer/wine.  Gain 5 lbs in 7 days!

Yes, we can get pretty great pizza here in Toronto.  But would it really be as good and excessively cheesy as the ones at El Cuartito?

3.  Buy random stuff because that's what people do on vacation.

Or better yet - DO NOT buy random stuff and be good to the planet.

"Man Yung, I can't believe we took a photo of this incredible HANDBAG STORE in Buenos Aires and didn't go in or buy anything from it?????  WTF!!!?"

4.  Since cannot buy new tango shoes easily when not in Buenos Aires, do next best thing - resole tango shoes, or wear existing tango shoes in one's possession that don't fit well for that brand new tango shoe feeling. Hobble awkwardly in ill fitting tango shoes at local milongas, it makes it feel like you are dancing on unfamiliar floors!

5.  Dance all night. Or at least until 1 a.m. midnight.  Because we need beauty rest + have to go home and massage the cat.  By the way this past week (in Toronto!) we danced Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday.  On Monday and Thursday we massaged the cat MORE.

6.  Forget to put on sunscreen because so busy/exhausted.

Unfortunately, this happened all the time when we were in Buenos Aires.  It is not a good idea!  The secret to looking and staying young: Sunscreen, sleep and Tango.  OK, when we were in Buenos Aires didn't get much of the first two but the surplus of the third made up for it.

7.  Go and see the sights and eat the eats in Scarborough, food capital of the world.  Or don't, and nap all the time when not eating and dancing because old and exhausted from dancing + massaging the cat.

If Scarborough is the food capital of the world and we live right in it and have a million choices of what to eat, why do we end up eating the same fifty chicken wings and plate of fried noodles at the same Chinese restaurant?

8.  Watch soccer matches broadcast in a non familiar language.  There are lots on Youtube.   Brings back memories of watching soccer in Spanish in Buenos Aires hotel room (when not passed out from exhaustion or doing laundry in the sink).

9.  Argue.  

Why, don't other people argue while on vacation?

10. Answer work emails. 

Why, don't other people answer work emails while on vacation?  How else can I make sure my inbox is clear and I'm up to date?

There must be more stuff we can do to add to the list to make our "Staycation" sound more exciting but I'm tired from dancing/writing/massaging the cat and need a nap now.

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Alberto Dassieu


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