Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Tango dancing with the Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young

Recently, there has been a deluge of fresh, young(ish) followers in Toronto with long legs, sky-high stilettos and high-slit skirts.  The Bimbangueros/Tangorimbos have been piling one on top of another as they trip in haste to dance with these beauties...

"Delightful!" you say.  "Toronto Tango is definitely in need of fresh blood.  You are lucky to have such heavenly creatures in your Tango community. They look so SMASHING together!"

Ha ha, "Smashing" is the right word to describe what they are doing - the Bimbangueros charge recklessly up and down the dance floor while their wonderful partners use every opportunity to foot flick, knee lift, back kick and heel gouge in all directions.

"Once, I was sitting in the corner of the room at a milonga minding my own business (and surfing the 'net on my smartphone) when one of these dangerous seething masses torpedoed down the line of dance.  I thought, 'No way they are going to hit me, I'm huddled in the corner here with all my legs and arms tucked in' but I was wrong.  She kicked me with a back boleo - and didn't even say sorry!  Well, she didn't say sorry at first - until I kicked her back with a pissed off look on my face."

"Good job, Irene!" said Man Yung.  "If more people spoke up - or in your case, kicked back - when they are assaulted on the dance floor by people dancing dangerously, maybe these dancers will become more self-aware, less reckless and more considerate."

"Hey Man Yung, sometimes you ask ladies to dance before you see how they are dancing (you crazy man you!).  Have you ever danced with someone who looked perfectly normal and civilized when you cabeceo'd her but who turned into the 'Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young' once you embraced her in your arms?"

Where are these high-kicking gals from?  From Europe?  From Outer Space?  Mais non!  
They are the product of your local Tango School of the money-grubbing inconsiderate and reckless instructors.  Rather than curbing the rash enthusiasm of their numerous prodigy, they say nothing so these gals will continue to attend their classes and milongas.  They may even teach by example and kick quite a few people on the dance floor themselves!

"Oh, do you mean Shub-Niggurath, the perverse Cthulhu-mythos Outer God with the menacing tentacles and the explosion of countless writhing goat legs?"

"Yep, that's it.  I know you are too much of a gentleman to dump her mid-Tango or mid-tanda.  What do you do to minimize the damage she may inflict on the couples around you?  Do you just keep your distance from the other couples?"

"Keeping a good distance so her back boleos won't dig into any one's flesh is a good idea, but it may not always be possible if the floor is crowded.  What I try to do is not to lead anything that would give her the opportunity to lift her heels off the floor.  No boleos.  No ganchos.  No enganches.  Any leader who has been dancing for a while can feel when they've picked one of these ladies who can't keep their heels on the floor.  The lady would be all jittery and twitchy and just itching to launch a big high kick if you give her half a chance.   The unruly stuff you see on the dance floor isn't done just by the follower alone - their partners have encouraged them to execute dangerous movements by leading those movements."

"But Man Yung, you underestimate the power of a determined (rabid) adornista.  I have seen leaders leading perfectly innocuous back ochos and giros - but have them converted into weapons of destruction by ladies who hook their feet up behind them before stepping down.  If they are anywhere near a person that uplifted stiletto heel won't be slicing air - it would be slicing someone's shin!"

Man Yung shrugged.  "In that case, the leader could do nothing but walk.  And pause.  And pause even more.  It's funny, but the more you try to tire an zealous adornista out with more movements, the more energetic and ebullient they become.  Do exactly the opposite, don't move very much or at all, and they may even fall asleep!"*

* Man Yung says, "I still think it is the leader's fault, maybe they should observe first and not dance with a follower who is dangerous on the dance floor.  However, I understand that some ladies are irresistible to some leaders due to their looks or their sexy attire, and leaders will want to dance with them even at the risk of hurting others on the dance floor.  You know what, I STILL THINK it is the leader's fault - what can be so irresistible that you will cooperate in assault?  Haven't you guys seen a woman before? So immature!"


Tango Therapist said...

The children are play just like mommy and daddy showed them. I was surprised with a large amount of readers for a provocative piece recently that claimed that the Rogue Dancer has been dancing for a long while. And I still maintain that. The Rogue Dancer now has deputies in Toronto! The post is called "The Rogue Dancer: Your Problem," and a follow-up will be "the Rogue Dancer is you Teacher," which I haven't finished yet. It came from people who wrote me privately: "I cannot challenge the Rogue Dancer because he is my teacher." In your case, the organizer seems to be passive. Anyway good luck! My post can be found with a search of Rogue Dancer in the top left corner of my my blog. I think I will change the name of my next post on this subject: the Rogue Dancer and his Deputies. :-)

Irene and Man Yung said...

Dear Tango Therapist,

We checked out your post on the Rogue Dancer, thanks for writing it to help protect the safety of the dance floor!

We hope you don't mind, we are posting the link to your post here so people can access it:


In our case, we have tried approaching the organizers of the milonga to get them to speak to the Rogue Dancer, we can't tell whether they did or not, because the Rogue Dancer kept on doing his thing, and the organizers seem to think he and his partners are hot stuff and continued to make a big show of welcoming them with open arms (we mean, literally - we never get hugged and slapped on the back like that when we go to the milonga)!

Variations on passive-aggressive responses towards the Rogue Dancer we've observed: "I cannot challenge the Rogue Dancer(s) because they look more attractive than me"; "I cannot challenge the Rogue Dancer because he (pretends to be) my friend)"; "I cannot challenge the Rogue Dancer because he/she is hot and I want to dance with him/her!"

Looking forward to your post on the Rogue Dancer is your Teacher, we were thinking somewhere along those lines too, because it is a fact that all this unbridled recklessly comes from somewhere and not just outer space.

Thanks for your comment!

Irene and Man Yung

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