Sunday, July 22, 2018
"Just the Way You Are" (sometimes isn't enough)
I've been thinking about writing about this topic for a long time but have hesitated/procrastinated because honestly, I didn't want Man Yung to read this and get mad.
OK, honey, remember you promised that you won't get mad?
I used to admire dancers most for their skill. For their musicality. For their elegance, their walk, their moves, or even, ha ha, their "authenticity", whatever that may be.
Yes, all of the above is still admirable, but there's something that trumps all of that.
It's so rare that in fourteen years of dancing and watching other people dance, I have only seen it in three (ok, maybe four) couples.
Those three couples (or four) were so into each other AND into each other's Tango that they didn't give a rat's ass about ANYTHING else.
Now, when you are a couple in Tango, things are not necessarily going to be "Happily Ever After".
You may have met before Tango. Or you may have met while dancing Tango.
You may have the most wonderful relationship outside of Tango. Or not.
You may think you are better at Tango than your partner. Or worse.
You may wish that your partner could dance better. Or you wish that you could dance better because you feel your partner isn't exactly happy about the way you are dancing.
You may have an ideal image of what you and your partner should look like or dance like in Tango and let's face it, your partner's skill, height, looks and dress does not fit into those parameters.
You may prefer to dance with other people not your partner. Or you want to dance with your partner very much, but he/she seems to prefer dancing with other people rather than you.
Or neither of you want to dance with each other really. Or you only want to dance together sometimes for appearance's sake because after all you guys are a couple but let's sit apart in the milonga so that other people won't be afraid to cabeceo us (separately).
Why not one person stay home and play mahjong/watch Netflix/do some online shopping while the other goes obsessively every night to milonga? Or, in order to avoid any kind of confusion for other tangueros/tangueras that you may be together, why not go to different milongas on different nights...on different continents?
Now, the following describes US (and I just had to google "Irene and Man Yung Tango Kill Argue" to get to the link without having to sort through all our past posts):
You argue a lot over Tango and want to kill each other constantly.
And people still go up to us and say to us, "Wow, you guys dance so beautifully together! You guys look like you are so in love!!!!"
Thanks for the compliment, but we are NOTHING compared to the three (or four) couples I've seen.
Man Yung keeps on saying to random ladies he dances with, "Love means never having to say you are sorry".
Well, there's absolutely no place for apology in the Tango of those truly blessed couples.
No need to say sorry to each other - when the leader isn't really leading right and the follower isn't really following right. Nothing is a "mistake", you know each other's Tango so well you just carry right on over any glitch.
No need to say sorry to anyone around them - when the intensity of their uninterrupted eye to eye staring vertical tango love making is making other people think "For God's sake go Get a Room!"
No need to say sorry to Tango itself - because it doesn't matter how cheesy or "wrong" their Tango is, their all-consuming "Love" makes it right.*
* You look at them and objectively, they are dancing all wrong and ridiculous but it looks fantastic because they are so much in sync and have so much chemistry. So there.
Do you know what I'm talking about? In fact, the turdier they dance, the more it shows how much they truly love each other because they just DON'T CARE. They can be dancing like s*** or maybe not like s*** but it doesn't matter because they are thinking all the time their partner is TANGO PERSONIFIED and OMG TANGO WITH HIM/HER IS THE BEST TANGO IN THE HISTORY OF ALL TANGO.
Yes I envy that and wish that Man Yung and I can be like that instead of "Irene and Man Yung Tango Kill Argue" but oh well.**
** Man Yung says: "No, I cannot be like that, Irene! My goal is continuous self-improvement, and that includes Tango. I am constantly improving MYSELF in Tango by watching Youtube vids on continuous loop for more steps. You must too! No rest in turdy Tango for the wicked Mwahahahaha! Crack the whip! Back to work! Roll that watermelon!" ***
*** This post is totally serious and we have discussed this topic together and we really do admire those couples for the way they love each other and love each other's Tango. A love like that is even better than winning any Mundial!
Martha's Apartment in Buenos Aires
A Non-exhaustive set of Tango links in Toronto
- La Cachila - weekly milonga
- Paradiso -- weekly milonga
- Practica El Beso
- WE Tango
- Tango Sur - classes, shows
- Rhythm and Motion - classes, milonga, practica, annual Toronto Tango Festival
- Tango Obsession - classes, weekly Practica La Coqueta
- Tango Lirico - classes, practica, weekly milonga
- Tango de Oro - classes, shows
- Tango Soul Productions - classes, weekly milonga, shows, El Congreso annual Tango Festival
- Vivatango - classes
- Tango Argentino - classes
- Club Milonga - classes, special events
- Alternatango - classes, weekly milonga
- University of Toronto Tango Club - classes, practica
- El Abrazo - classes
- Tangoloft - twice monthly milonga