Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Winners and Losers

Another year, another "Mundial".  Quick, without googling - who won?  In fact (and without googling), who could name all the winners since 2004?  Irene* knows/thinks they are:

2004: Osvaldo and Coca
2005: Fabian Peralta and Natasha Poberaj
2006: Dante Sanchez and Ines Muzzopappa
2007: Daniel Naccuchio(?) and his partner Cristina Sosa (?)
2008: Did the Japanese couple win this one?
2009: Maybe it was the really young couple still in their teens??
2010: Some couple from Columbia???
2011: Didn't care/Don't remember
2012: Didn't care/Don't remember
2013: Didn't care/Don't remember
2014: Didn't care/Don't remember
2015: Didn't care/Don't know/Don't remember

*Man Yung just remembers Osvaldo and Coca and Fabian Peralta, the rest is a big blur of Didn't care/Don't know/Don't remember

Congratulations all the winners!  You must be winners, you won the big prize of being THE BEST TANGO DANCERS IN THE WORLD of __________ (fill in the year). And the rest didn't win, so they must be LOSERS. 

....Ha ha, just kidding, everyone is a winner!   Everyone who participated is a winner.  Everyone who didn't participate is a winner.  Do you dance Tango?  Then you are a winner!

A voice pipes up.  "Your Tango competition sucks.  How can everyone be a winner?  It's like kindergarten where everyone gets a gold star because you don't want to hurt anybody's feelings.  And without clear separation between the chaff and the wheat, how would I know who to take classes with?  Can't just put any ol' bum on the good ol' Tango resumé, I can't impress the chicks/dudes this way."

Alright.  Maybe not everyone is a winner.  Some Tango Dancers aren't winners, they're wieners - especially if:

-  They dance big and aggressive and you have to give them a big leeway on the dance floor to avoid being stabbed in the face by their high kicking stilettos
-  They use Tango as an excuse to grope people
-  They are so hung up on being stylish/elegant/authentic or on showing off they can't hear the music/don't feel the music/won't dance to the music why dance Tango at all please take up ballroom/disco or even line dancing

"Oh yeah, Irene - " says Man Yung "You're a loser too!  You don't know how to cabeceo!  Or maybe you do - it's just no-one in their right mind wants to cabeceo you."

"Loser yourself.  You had chance to make the big bucks as taxi dancer but you give it all for free!" I replied.

"How about loser times two?  Your feet maybe moving but your brain is thinking of zombie apocalypse and WalMart."

"Oh yeah?  Loser times infinity and then some!  How will you ever become a Milonguero if you can't stop trying out all the newest fancy moves from Youtube?"

"Who wants to be a Milonguero?  I like how I dance and all my twenty-million tricky make-you-fall-on your-face-steps perfectly fine!"

BIGGEST LOSERS:  Irene and Man Yung arguing over Tango.  Let's just stick to "If you dance Tango, you are a Winner!"

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