Friday, July 4, 2008

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - Part 2

So, I was telling Man Yung about my "tango jump-kicking" blues and he totally agreed with me.

"Yes, it is true. You are getting too old for this kind of stuff," my totally supportive hubby remarked.

There goes my chances to star in the "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" sequel.

Then Man Yung thought a moment. And his face lighted up.

"But don't worry, we can fix that if we can get you to consume some 1000-year-old Lingzhi and 1000-year-old Heshouwu."

What Man Yung means is that I should eat this:



Ganodermi, also known as Lingzhi

With a generous helping of this:


Radix polygoni multi-flori, also known as Heshouwu

Young Lingzhi are already the size of small umbrellas. As for Heshouwu, this is what a 200-year Heshouwu looks like:


I can only imagine that a 1000-year-old one must be as big as VW bus.

As Man Yung puts it, "If you eat these special chinese herbs, you will experience a second springtime and regain your youthful vitality - and you will be able to do all the tango jump-kicking you want without getting a hernia!"

Wow man, I can't wait to find my very own 1000-year-old Heshouwu and Lingzhi so that I, too can experience my second springtime and audition for "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - The Sequel" AND Cosmotango XXXVII. *

* Maybe I'll be able to ditch Man Yung and find my very own Fabio shortly after eating said Heshouwu and Lingzhi and entering into my "second springtime" - imagine all the fancy nuevo/show tango jump kicks I will be able to execute in my 50's, 60's, 70's (and if I am very lucky) 80's and 90's with Fabio! Fellow dancers, better watch out on the dance floor!

** I heard a rumor that Man Yung had discovered a couple of these 1000-year-old Heshouwu when he traveled to Northeastern China back in 1980. And I suspect he must have eaten one (as to where he was hiding it in our 800 square foot condo - I have no idea) when he started getting old and feeling his "manly powers" were not as strong as they used to be. Now he is dancing three, four even six hours in a row non-stop - coincidence? I think not.

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Alberto Dassieu

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